i don't understand how people can be happy all the time. surely its impossible.
even smiling i can't do for long, its like my muscles can't take it and smiling becomes a painful effort.
i've just had the most wonderful afternoon on a bike ride in the quarry with someone special who makes me smile.
but i was sitting here, and for a time, completely forgot everything i have done today, all the smiles and laughs, the funny dancing, the smoking, the getting muddy from bike ride tumbles, the cherry flavoured sweets.
now i've eaten chocolate, which i am allergic too. so i feel ill, itchy, and have low self-control.
it is hard to stay happy for a long time. but its nice to know i'm not incapable of it.
