F8

so its been 2 years since i last posted here.
i feel like a massive chunk of my life has been left out.

i mean. just because it isn't on 'my blog' doesn't mean it never happened. but i kinda wish i kept it up during these past two years as they have been the most wonderful life changing cosmic years of my life thus far.

i suppose i got scared of writing my personal thoughts online as it got me into a lot of trouble in the past at home and even @ school,, some things do need to stay private. i was naive but i don't regret writing it.
i do regret not writing at all though.

i have documented them in other ways... my photo diary, and endless videos.

but i find words and photos very different ways of documenting thoughts.

having a visual representation of memories are fantastic because there are so many moments of perfection, beauty, craziness, laughter, weirdness and beauty which would be a shame to forget.

but on the other hand when extreme emotions, elation, pure happiness, sadness and pain are related into words, some thing magic happens. 'photos say a thousand words'.... but imagine how many more words those thoughts inside your head contain... thoughts are ephemeral, they change with the weather. i'm sad because i have been on a big ass muthrr fuckin roller coaster of emotions over these two years, and i've developed so much,. i have grown into myself and becoming slowly who i really am. i've met the people who i will endlessly adore and love who have opened up my mind to new ideas and made me realise how special and exquisite we are.

and all this time i didn't write down my thoughts... hardly in my diary too.

i have my thoughts down through some poems, songs, and visual poems (films)... and confessed 2 many a thing in love letters that are still awaiting reply.

from now on.. here on this blog i will write my revised thoughts, dairy extracts, post photos of current works and music. poems, spoken word etc etc...

my frustration as an artist is getting more intense as i continue to create work. my head is filling up with ideas and i feel like my productivity output doesn't match this. i just want to pierce myself open and explode. except its not going to be an explosion, it won't be a violent eruption like a volcano, more like the aftermath... the lava rolling down the molten landscape. the pent up anger and pain which i can't reveal. i can't reveal it because i am a happy person. i'm too happy. i'm happy and i know that suffering is a part of life, samsara. without this pain u aren't able to appreciate the wonderful beautiful moments.
i'm attracting all the right things to me i know i'm on the right path. because everything is happening in perfect timing. everything is falling into place.

f8 is real. i believe.

i could keep writing for ever. but till my next post. c ya x